


Break On Me

by flashytonystark



Series: #PsychicGinger... I Ship It [6]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV), Game of Thrones RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Westeros, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Boyfriends, Broken, Crying, Dialogue, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Falling Apart, Feels, Flashbacks, Game of Thrones References, Heart-to-Heart, Heartache, Heartbreak, Heartbreaking, Heavy Angst, Helpless, I Ship It, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied Relationships, Inspired by Game of Thrones, Living Together, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Trust, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Modern Era, Modern Westeros, Non-Canon Relationship, OTP Feels, POV Outsider, POV Third Person, POV Third Person Limited, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Relationship Issues, Tears, Trust Issues, Westeros, scared, upset
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 04:28:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5652475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashytonystark/pseuds/flashytonystark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Yes, even when you feel like shattering into a million pieces. You can break on me, Sans; I'll pick you up and help put you back together. Every time."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Break On Me

**Author's Note:**

> If reading these in order, this would technically come after Snapped which follows Demons. 
> 
> BUT! It's not necessary to read them in order—just an authors preference. Happy reading!

"You... You don't love me anymore, do you?" The words came out as a mere whisper, but Sansa heard them clearly as if they had just been yelled at her. When she didn't answer, unable to gather her thoughts so quickly after being rattled by the sudden question, he asked again, his voice a little stronger this time.

"You don't love me anymore, do you?"

"I never said that," she croaked, hands trembling at her sides. "I never said that. Ever."

"But you don't love me anymore." A declaration this time, not a question.

"Jojen, stop. Why're we even having this conversation? You're talking crazy."

"I'm not talking crazy, San. We're having this conversation because I don't know what to do or say or... or even _think_ anymore! This is the only logical explanation for any of this."

Sansa stared at him with a blank expression, the color slowly draining from her face. Jojen looked so tired, defeated. He ran his hands through his hair numerous times, making it stand up on one end, something Sansa used to do when they were watching movies together on the couch.

_Used_ to do.

She'd be stupid to deny that things had started crumbling weeks before, that there was suddenly an invisible wall between her and Jojen—a wall she couldn't get to go down. She had tried to break it, and so had Jojen, it just seemed to strengthen with their effort to knock it down. They were drifting apart, only hanging on by threads, threads Jojen tried to keep together all by himself. Things had changed. Sansa had changed.

Change scared her, especially when nothing good could come from it. Nothing good could come from this, she could see that already. She'd keep denying it though, just like she had done for the past several weeks.

When she didn't speak, Jojen sighed, balling his hands into fists that he rested on his knees.

"You can't keep pulling into yourself like this, Sansa. You can't. You can't keep doing this and expecting everything to be fine."

"Everything _is_  fine, Jojen! You're making this a bigger deal than it is!"

She was becoming frustrated. She wrapped her arms around her middle as if she was trying to keep warm, her eyes trained on the man sitting across from her on the couch.

"Everything is _not_  fine, Sansa," he muttered, his gaze hard and stony. Sansa refused to be the first to look away.

"Tell me you love me."

"Jojen—"

"Tell me you love me."

A pause. Hesitation.

"I love you."

"Do you mean it?"

"Yes."

"Then why the hesitation? Why the sudden pulling away?"

"B-Because I..."

"Because you what?"

Another pause. More hesitation.

"I... I can't do this."

"Can't do what, Sansa?"

"This!" she shouted, throwing her hands up in defeat. "I love you but I can't keep doing _this_. The pretending, the fake smiling, the hollow laughter, any of it! I can't keep doing it! It's eating me up inside and tearing me apart."

Jojen looked at her, mouth slightly agape, as if she had just smacked him across the face. He was at a loss for words, his mind whirring as he tried to piece together what she had just said. He looked down at his hands for solid minutes without speaking. Sansa stood there, silent, tears welling up in her eyes. Jojen eventually found the courage to speak again, though he had no idea where it had come from.

"You mean, _I_ did this to you?" He could barely get the words out without choking on them.

Sansa was crying now, not even trying to hold it back. "Oh gods, no, not you. Never you. Never, never, never. "

"If not me, then who?"

"Me! I did it! My... My brain did it." She brought her hands up and clutched the sides of her head as she stared at her feet.

"Sansa, you're scaring me. What's _wrong_?" Jojen had stood up from the couch and took two cautious steps toward her.

"I can't shake the feeling that you're going to leave! That this is going eventually turn into another Ramsay or Joffrey situation!"

"Woah, woah, woah. Where is this coming from? Did I do something to scare you? Sans, I'd _never_  let things get like that between us. You have to know that. " He replied, completely taken aback.

Sansa sunk to the floor and pulled her knees to her chest as Jojen crouched down in front of her. He was close enough to touch her now, but he restrained himself from doing so for the time being.

"Sansa, look at me." His voice was firm, but gentle and eventually she looked up. "I'm not going to leave you or anything like that, okay? I've been trying to get through to you for weeks; I could tell something was off with you. After everything that happened... I thought something had broken between us."

"I'm just... so stressed and overworked. School is getting to me and then the whole thing with Ramsay..." she trailed off, putting her head on her knees.

"San, come here..." Jojen sat down, pressing his back against the edge of the coffee table as he pulled Sansa into his arms, clutching onto her as if he was afraid she might vanish into thin air. "You're stressing yourself out and part of that is my fault... I shouldn't have pushed you so hard. I just wanted to be there for you, to _help_  you." He continued holding onto her, kissing the top of her head often as he rocked her back and forth gently on the floor.

Sansa's face had found the crook of his neck and Jojen could feel her tears staining the collar of his t-shirt as she trembled in his arms. They were both silent for a while until she finally spoke, her voice small. "You still love me through all of my crazy?"

Jojen felt a pang of sadness and guilt rip through him. "Of course I do. I don't want you to ever think otherwise. And you're not crazy, never crazy. You've been put through so much. That's not your fault, love."

"I... I think I need to go back to my psychiatrist. Maybe look at getting back onto my anxiety meds, talk this stuff about Ramsay through with her," she whispered against his neck.

Jojen squeezed her tightly and swallowed over the lump in his throat. "I think that might help. Just don't forget that I'm always going to be here for you too, no matter what. And I'll never, _ever_ , let that monster near you again. Just... don't shut me out anymore. I get worried that I'm losing you. I panicked, Sans."

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to worry you."

"Sansa Stark, I love you. Now let me help you."

"You want to help even when I feel like shattering into a million pieces?"

"Yes, even when you feel like shattering into a million pieces. You can break on me, Sans; I'll pick you up and help put you back together. Every time."

**Author's Note:**

> More angst/ptsd Sansa and Jojen ficlets! These are some of my favorite to write. More happy ones to follow soon! I've been taking a bit of a break from those to help rest my muse for happy endings. (I find it much easier to write anything with angst, no matter the ship, whether it's fanfiction of original fiction). 
> 
> Hope you've been enjoying these so far! Happy reading!


End file.
